"Such A Shame ..."

“It’s really such a shame,” they all said.

Small gatherings of acquaintances shuffled by her bed.

Family and friends and classmates brushed by, some void of expression, some with tears in their eyes. Her face was a beautiful shade of white, like a fair-skinned, Victorian-age maiden. The mortician had done a fine job concealing the grisly bruises around her neck where the rope had cinched tighter and tighter, blocking off her airway until not a molecule could pass through.

“What a shame she couldn’t get the help she needed,” some muttered.

Her hands were folded neatly across her bosom, giving her a starkly dainty appearance. An appearance which—to those who saw her on a daily basis—was entirely out of place for this particular soul.

            Some took somber note of the irony—that such a tormented young girl should lie here in such elegant peace after all. That the last image they’d see of their troubled friend who always wore heavy eye-liner and covered her smiles with the sleeves of her too-long sweatshirts would be one of tranquility. A lovely, sleeping girl wearing her finest Sunday dress.

            “It’s such a shame she wasn’t better looked after. Especially after her first two attempts!” others whispered.

Her palm-down hands left the matrix of scars along her wrists and forearms to lie against her own body, out of sight to all of the guests. Those scars, which so many had fussed were mere cries for attention, would remain unseen by all who dared not desecrate the body that had been so determinedly set up. Those closest to her knew that she’d tried this before. She’d run razor after razor along her skin, but she’d never quite found the depth necessary to bring her to her current state.

“She’s in a better place,” many assured. But their minds knew exactly what their holy books said about what happens to those who commit that deadliest sin of all. No such place was in her future.

“Such a shame she didn’t call one of us first.”

In her last moments of ultimate woe, shouldn’t surely her mind have yearned for the warm solace of her dearest friends?

“May she rest in peace,” some wished.

After such a life of apparent agony, she deserved to finally find some peace.

“She’ll always be remembered.”

“Only the good die young.”

“May she be a lesson to hold your loved ones closer tonight.”

“Gone but not forgotten.”

An endless sea of insincere platitudes washed over the lifeless girl as her body awaited its final resting place. A boundless array of banal beliefs echoed across the Internet that evening. An immeasurable assortment of trite sentiments spread throughout social media, like a dense cloud of noxious gas in an overcrowded subway station. A million tiny lies and falsehoods were shared with watery eyes and heads nodding in emphatic agreement. Myriad mistruths were muttered to hands held high and heads turned to the sky in silent rejoice of the sick, temporary comfort brought by rhetoric and ill reason. Infinite speculations and stock phrases were tested in attempt to capture the tragedy that all had witnessed.

But none came close to capturing the untruths and self-deceptions that she’d held in her final moments.

Such a shame, she’d thought as she wiped the blood from her wrists.

It’s really such a shame that no one cares for me.

Quite a shame that no one will miss me when I’m gone. What a shame that my impact on this earth has been meaningless, that I have no worth, and that I’ll die alone, as I’ve ever been.

Her hands had shaken as she'd tied the knot to loop ‘round her neck.

Such a shame that I can never do the things I want to do, never accomplish any of my goals, never be as big as I want to be. Her brain had whispered false secrets to itself while she worked with the rope.

What a shame that no one will ever have the time to tell me I matter. That the people I love most will always care the least. That the only screams I hear are from those who aim to tear others down.

The lies she’d accepted for all of her life reverberated through her mind as she'd climbed onto the chair. The lies that no one would ever take the time to correct.

It’s such a shame that my worth is not limitless, she'd thought as the loop slipped on and relaxed atop her shoulders. Her shoulders which would never merit the comfort of a caring human embrace. Such a shame that I don’t bring joy to the lives of others. Such a shame that I am defined by the harsh, uncaring words of all who surround me …

It’s really such a shame …